Bleach's Film Review

So i haven’t updated this in a while, mainly because I have been too busy to go and watch films to review and mainly because the current cinema landscape is so barren of things i want to watch its like wandering through the sahara on an especially dry day, with second rate films the only oasis while the mirage of decent films (toy story three) are so far away on the horizon.

That said i read something today that made me re think my “I don’t give a toss” attitude towards this blog and got me a typing away (on my iPad i would like to add, take that Microsoft (yes i know thats being showy, bite me))

So what could it be i hear you asking? (If you are asking please close the browser as you are obviously to stupid to operate a computer… i think the title of this entry gives it away) Actually i hear nobody because this review has the same reading numbers as mien campf does in israel but here goes

3-D version of Titanic to be released in 2012

Sorry if I’m new to this news, the only thing going on in my head over the last couple of days has been my finishing of education forever and how shit england are at football, but what the hell?

Is it me or does the impending destruction of the earth that year suddenly seem all the more promising if it can save us from this crock of shit? (the amount of swearing in this already gets rid of any family friendly reviewing technique that i could have been going for… Infact i think its drop kicked it out a top story window) Now I don’t agree with the whole 3-D craze that is ripping its way through Hollywood at the moment, as much as i understand the film industry is there to line the pockets of studio execs and rape the poor movie going public (I.e you and me) into parting with our hard earned cash, this 3-D phase feels like it is just trying to bum fuck us out of the last pence/cents/doubloons (delete as appropriate) that still manage to line our wallets. But I also understand that this new technology is there and all directors and their dog will use it. Hating 3-D is like hating chavs, they annoy the fuck out of you, but in the long run you accept that they are there and content yourself with the knowledge that you are better than them, and spy on them through the scopes of sniper rifles from a distant vantage point ready to pull the tri… Sorry i digress, but 3-D now is like the creation of sound, colour, and widescreen, hated by the arty types when they were created but now the bread and butter of film and tv, so new films jumping out of the screen like rapists out of bushes is some thing we all have to live to accept. What i think takes the piss is when films get rehashed in all their 3-D glory and forced upon the public, especially If the film in question was up until earlier this year the highest box office grossing film of all time. Titanic took over $1bn at the box office world wide, second only to Camerons other story-less but beautiful epic avatar. Why this film needs to be re done is nothing more than an exercise in how much money can we get from the thick as shit public, and i for one am ashamed of Hollywood. I wonder what sort of budget has gone towards this process and if it could have been used to create something other than targets for my DVD shooting range (I don’t have a shooting range, DVD or otherwise)

In summery i think there are plenty of new things that could be done, with 3-D or not 3-D but to try and get people to buy something that they already have in some cases multiple times is one of the reasons that Hollywood is going to shit. 

Secondly i heard that clash of the titans is getting a sequel. My point is confirmed.